


I Wish You Could See Me Right Now

by Anonymous



Category: Paul Blart: Mall Cop (Movies)
Genre: Cell Phones, M/M, Netflix and Chill, Taco Bell, fart kink, wow did i really just type that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 12:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13235655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Paul/PahudPaul and Pahud finally meet up after their phone conversations leave them wanting more face-to-face interaction.





	I Wish You Could See Me Right Now

**Author's Note:**

> A/N Hey guys, I really love this ship, it’s actually underrated. Just a little note, Pahud is of age, so there’s nothing illegal. If this isn’t for you then don’t read ;)

“I wish you could see me right now…” Pahud whispered, stroking his naked leg. He was wearing only his tighty-whities and felt particularly lonely on this night.

He had to get out his head. He needed to tell Paul what he felt.

Just thinking about Paul holding that bedazzled phone that belonged to his ex lover was making his stomach clench.

Parisa was fine, but his heart belonged to whoever owned the phone. That majestic phone. Even now he could hear that ringtone in his head. ‘I’m the type of girl you wanna chew up all my bubble gum.’ he hummed to himself.

“Do you really mean that?” Paul inquired bashfully. Paul had grown rather fond of their impromptu conversations and secretly wanted to see the face behind the smooth, Indian voice.

Pahud continued to stroke himself, “I do.”

“Right now I’m a bit busy, maybe we can meet up later?” Paul asked, desperate for a chance to meet his new crush.

“I will await your call…” Pahud whispered, sulkily. He then hung up the phone, and waited for the ringtone he so adored.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paul spent the rest of the day on the edge of his segway. He couldn’t focus on his work for anything. As soon as his shift was over, he gingerly picked up the bejeweled cellular phone device to call Pahud. He bit his lip nervously as he waited for the other man to pick up.

“I thought I told you never to call me again!” Pahud yelled.

Paul’s heart dropped, and he almost reached for his emergency Pixie Sticks. “Wh- what do you mean, Pahudie?”

“Oh sorry Paul, I thought you were my grandma,” Pahud affectionately apologized. “Maybe you should come over so I can make it up to you.” 

Paul’s breath hitched. “U-uh, yeah sure, I mean I guess that would be okay…” Then a thought occurred to him. “Where should I park my segway?”

“UP MY ASS!” Pahud screamed seductively.

“OwO,” Paul blushed. “Did you know Taco Belle is apart of the Illuminati? It’s confirmed,” Paul spat out the fact, nervously.

“Wow, I love a man who knows his fast food.”

“Y-yup that’s me. I know fast food. Yup,” Paul stammered, clutching his Taco Belle dinner. He would have to eat the Taco Belle Taco before he went over. Hopefully Pahud has a nice, clean bathroom…

“Anyway, just swing by my crib and we can chillax while watching Netflax. I’ll text you the address, my little Mall Paul.”

Paul blushed, once more. “See you soon… Cutie Pahudie.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paul pulled up to the mansion, his segway tires screeching on the pavement. He timidly went up to the front door to ring the doorbell. He heard a shuffling from inside, then Pahud threw open the door. There he was: his Pahudie, in all of his near-naked glory. Paul admired his figure lovingly. He blushed deeper than ever before.

“Welcome to the love den.” Pahud turned around to lead him into the house, and Paul took a moment to admire his backside. Mmm, his Pahudie Booty. Never let anyone tell you Paul Blart isn’t an ass man.

“Like what you see?” Pahud asked, turning around and facing Paul. He winked seductively. Paul’s face reddened, and his stomach began gurgling. 

Pahud quirked an eyebrow. “You alright there, Paul?”

Paul opened his mouth to say that yes, he was in fact fine, but instead what came out was an earth-shattering fart. The fart lasted for several seconds, and Paul was forced to avoid eye contact, lest the situation got more awkward.

Pahud smirked.

“Is that what you were holding in… Blart Fart?”

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: Thanks for reading! Btw, the brand names were changed to avoid copyright.


End file.
